Parents will feel happy if their children grow well. The following are tips on how to educate a child so they can grow well.
1. Do what you say and do not say what you will not do!
(to be credible in the eyes of the child)
– If you say ” Again and you go to bed ” and the child disobeys once again, do not give him a second chance. Do not threaten in a vacuum. Do not repeat the same thing 5 times. After a threat, act. (Otherwise, the child will not be afraid of your threats and will not obey.)
– Do not say a threat that you will not respect. Ex: ” Again, and you will not be watching TV for a month ” when you know you will not be holding this ban for so long.
” If you go on, you’ll copy it to me 1000 times ” when you only need 20 times or 100 times.
– It is better to say nothing than to say something that you will not do.
– Be firm, convinced internally that you will succeed in getting your application. The child should not detect hesitation, and fragility in your instructions.
– Stop screaming; say things once and act calmly but firmly.
2. Be more stubborn than him!
Too many parents crack as soon as a child “pokes a temperamental fit of anger” to stop his crisis.
If you say ” no “, do not change your mind if the child starts crying, moaning, sulking, screaming, hitting, biting, …
The stubbornness of a child and the refusal to obey is inversely proportional to the stubbornness of the parents!
Indeed, the more a parent “cracks”, gives in, changes his mind, and the more the child will be reinforced in his behavior of stubbornness.
A “stubborn” child is, therefore, the result of a parent who is not enough.
One of the “tricks” in education is to BE MORE HEAD THAN HIS CHILD !!
The child will understand very quickly that it is useless to insist, to cry, to make a crisis …
To succeed in “standing up”, it is necessary to distance oneself emotionally, not to be softened by the crying, to have no compassion for capricious behavior, to say that if we crack, he will have “won”, to say that if we fall in love, his “crisis” will be reinforced for the next time, to say that it is not the children who decide, but the parents (they can give their opinion and say what they think)
3. Praise, encourage good behavior
– Do not just make remarks to him when he disobeys when he does something wrong.
Be sure to balance your criticisms: that there are at least as many positive as negative remarks.
– Avoid systematic material rewards. ” If you have a nice newsletter, you’ll have money, a bike “
(He must behave for pleasure, to please, because he knows it’s better and not to receive something.)
– Reward the behavior rather than the result: one child can work a lot and have 70% to his newsletter while another makes no effort and has 80% to his newsletter.
We must therefore reward, congratulate the work provided, the efforts made, the behavior rather than the result.
Do you prefer a child who cheats and wins his tennis match or a child who stays honest, fair and who loses his match?
4. Give him a lot of love (and time)!
– Next, to your discipline, punishments that you give him, spend time with your child. Play, discuss with him, be interested in what he is doing and show him that you love him. Listen to him. (This is the best way for him to understand and accept the discipline you demand). It’s important on how to educate child tips.
– Do not give him love when he does something wrong when he disobeys.
– Cuddle them regularly! Spoil them emotionally!
– Tell them explicitly that you love them!
5. Sanction directly (and not two days later)
– A sanction made several days after the offense will have much less effect than a penalty that follows directly the fact committed.
– Do not let your child run out of politeness, insult someone without intervening, without sanctioning him.
Choose penalties that annoy the child. (Otherwise, he will continue to exceed the limits without fearing punishment.)
Do not choose sanctions that last days, weeks or months. It’s required in how to educate a child tips.
6. Is it you who decides!
Too often, parents let the child choose, and let him decide.
However, it is up to the parent to decide what is best for the child AFTER HEARING THE ARGUMENTATION AND THE CHILD’S OPINION.
I hear parents say to me, “My child is no longer napping, he does not want to be. ”
I answer,” It’s not up to him! It’s you who know if he needs it if it’s good for him. “
7. Inculcate values (showing the example)
For your child to be armed to resist and fight against selfishness, jealousy, laziness, money, mockery, … pass on the values of respect for others, the environment, patience, calm perseverance, politeness, work, tolerance, listening, courage, positive spirit, personality (daring to be different), …
applying these principles yourself!
8. Do not spoil him materially!
Many children think that it is normal to receive gifts, to be led to their sport, to receive money, a mobile phone, to receive food without working, to receive to get new shoes and clothes, to get a computer, …
do not give them everything they want. Do not give them too much (superficial) gifts
Teach them the frustration of not having what you want when you want.
The jaded child of gifts and toys is no longer satisfied with anything.
9. Behavioral priority, NOT RESULT
Whether at school, in sport, or in the child’s activities, focus on the behavior, the attitude of the child, not the outcome.
In fact, demanding a result increases stress on the one hand and puts pressure on the child, and on the other hand, does not always reward the efforts made by the child.
One child can work a lot and not succeed, while another can do nothing and succeed.
10. Avoid, prohibit DS, PSP, Xbox, Wii, TV (in the room)
Let them be bored so that they find interesting occupations (like reading, working, board games, role-playing, drawing, building, …).
These electronic games promote individualism, “prevent” other educational activities, prevent communication, delay language.
At home, there are none of these games. Only ONE TV in the living room is used with much moderation.
Result: children with a lot of imagination who invent and play together (between brothers and sister)
Give him some good games
11. Do not do it for him!
Develop his autonomy and his “sense of activity”!
To promote autonomy, self-help, stop doing everything in its place:
Learn him very early then…
let him make his toast (from 5 to 6 years), let him cut his meat alone (from 4 to 5 years old), let him eat with two cutlery, let him dress, put on his shoes, make his laces, let him put away his clothes, let him call, and answer the phone, let him carry his school bag (from kindergarten), let him clean his shoes, let him tie up his shoes, let him walk, bike (rather than drive him anywhere, whenever he wants).
And above all, tips no 11 about how to educate a child let them be wrong, miss, start again,…
Work and participation in household and outdoor tasks are good ways to instill the value of things, the value of work, courage, …
Everything you do in its place will prevent it from growing, learning and becoming responsible.
Letting it get used to your child being ACTIVE, MOVING to get what he wants and not waiting for it to be brought on a tray.
12. Do not prohibit too much or too little.
The landmark for the ban: “Is it doing something wrong? “
– Do not systematically prohibit the child from going to play on the pretext that he is going to get dirty. Put him in less beautiful clothes so that he can express himself, play freely. The child has only to make beautiful clothes if they prevent him from playing, sitting on the floor, …
(He does not do anything wrong)
– Do not systematically forbid the child to speak, to shout (outside) on the pretext that you do not like the noise.
(He does not do anything wrong)
If you forbid everything, too much, the child will not know how to blossom or accept your discipline.
– Ban him from polluting, hitting, smoking, playing on the road, watching too much TV, playing the DS, insulting …
(It hurts others, the environment or himself)
13. Let him get bored
Maybe you feel surprised with tips no 13 on how to educate a child.
A bored child thinks and develops his imagination!
The bored child goes for an interesting activity and gets active.
If he does not have the opportunity to be bored, he will not seek, will not imagine.
Do not try to occupy it constantly.
Warning: watching TV is not boring!
14. Hygiene of life: to sleep, to move (to play-work), to feed, to wash
– Make him sleep, take naps to recover; the brain develops during sleep. A lack of sleep prevents concentration, attention, memorization, reflection.
– Get him out, move to develop his muscles, meet others and avoid obesity. Let him play outside. Let him go out, get dirty. Accustom him to help, to work with you.
– Teach him to eat healthy: fruits, vegetables, water, even if it’s worse, even if he does not like!
– Habituate him to wash his teeth and body daily, he will thank you later for having been able to keep good teeth.
Tip no 14 about how to educate a child is very important to familiarize a healthy life for children.
15. Do not avoid encounters and conflicts
The conflict teaches the child that he is not alone on earth, that others are different.
The conflict teach the child to negotiate, to share, to sympathize, to think of the other!
Learning to resolve conflict will allow him to learn to live with his colleagues, his neighbors when he is older.
Do not buy 2 gifts to prevent them from arguing. Teach them to share a toy with two.
Do not turn on the TV to prevent them from arguing. Do not buy two televisions to avoid the hassle!
16. Apply these tips from the first months!
Do not believe that because he is only a baby, a child, that everything must be forgiven, all allow him.
Maybe we do not have the heart to implement these tips on how to educate a child and tend to spoil children. But this is very important for their good and happiness in the future.
(17. Establish a contract with him )(if he is at least 8 years old, especially with teenagers)
WARNING, I HAVE NOT YET EXPERIENCED THIS LAST ADVICE. I can not assure you of its success and effectiveness.
Make a list of what you would like him to do, what you do not like at home, what you do not admit.
For his part, the child also makes a list of what he blames you for, what he would like to do, what is wrong.
Everyone gets to know each other’s list and you start negotiating and making concessions together. (The presence of a mediator, an objective third party can be helpful)
Once you have agreed, that you have found common ground, define together the sanctions to be applied if one or the other does not respect the contract.
EX: If the teen disobeys the contract, he could be deprived of freedom that was provided for in the contract.
If a parent disobeys the contract, the child would have more freedom and not having to do the dishes for a week.
Each week, rediscuss, reevaluate the contract, its application and modify it if necessary (together).
( The advantage of the contract is that the young person accepts and understands the limits to be respected and the penalties that follow.)
I hope these tips about how to educate a child can be useful for you.